It's 10 p.m. Do You Know Where Your Phones Are?

I grew up in the suburbs of New York City.

So, the Fox 5 Public Service Announcement, "It's 10 p.m. Do You Know Where Your Children Are?" was something I heard a lot.

Whenever I did, it also meant I should probably be asleep. I had school the next day. But that was really hard when Fox 5 — and other stations — had replays of "Cheers" to watch.

So, I've been thinking a lot about how often people forget to shut down their devices.

And I've been thinking a lot about good habits to create as part of doing a digital detox.

Most places will tell you to shut down your phone at least once a week. This way, you can keep your device current with the latest security updates.

But I think you should have a time each day where you shut down your devices.

Preferably at least three hours before bed.

I know. A lot of people may say, "My phone is my alarm clock! I can't do that."

You can. A DreamSky small digital alarm clock is a nice, inexpensive replacement for your phone.

It's what I use here in the DuckDuckGo Podcast Studio:

Privacy Tip: Turn Off Your Phone No Later Than 10pm

You don't want any Internet connected device in your bedroom.

We'll talk about that later. But the first step to getting there is to turn off your phone(s) every day no later than 10pm.

I turn mine off just after 8pm so that I can get to sleep by 11pm.

This keeps me within the three hour rule of limited to no screen time before bed.

Yes. There are going to be exceptions.

Yes. There are going to be days where you try to do this, and then have to go back and turn the phone back on.

It happens.

That's why, when we first started talking about the Digital Detox, we talked about practicing self-compassion.

Just Forgive Yourself and Try Again.

You will need to sort out what your exceptions are. But the trick is to not have too many.

This is good dating advice too, by the way.

Everyone has deal breakers.

But if you have too many deal breakers, you'll never find someone to be happy with.

Two of my phone exceptions are:

-A new girlfriend who wants to send me a picture of them dressed like Wonder Woman? I would absolutely keep my phone on for that.

-If a family member isn't feeling well, and I need to be accessible to help them out? Ditto.

Everyone is different. Find out what your exceptions are.

The point here is to pick a time, no later than 10pm, and make sure your friends and family know about when you're not accessible.

"But I need to be accessible!"

I hear you.

So, let's say you have a job where you can't just go dark.

You can get a dumb phone to solve that problem.

We are going to talk A LOT about Dumb Phones throughout this series.

The best dumb phone, for most people in most cases, is the Nokia 2780 Flip.

But honestly, any dumb phone will do.

Why Is This Important?

Everything on your smartphone is designed to be addictive.

And I acknowledge that these devices and apps serve as a way to relieve anxiety.

Or to give people a pleasant distraction in an ugly, cruel world.

Or to give your brain time to process more complicated things, while you do something kind of simple and routine.

All of that is true.

But what's also true is that your smart phone is a way to control and pacify you, so that you become numb to the larger world around you.

We will not defeat the fascists and weirdos this way.

As hard as doing a digital detox, the detox is the beginning of your path to living in a world where everyone is free, and treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

And we're all counting on you.

-BJ