Alright!

I feel like we're getting back on track here. I'm almost done with Amanda's edits for Chapter 1 (of 4) of How to Protect Yourself From Fascists & Weirdos. We're posting this on schedule, on a Thursday, and this week's episode is already available for you to listen to.

I'm also writing up the first new Privacy Tip for 2026. As a reminder, Privacy Tips went on break during the holidays, and then I struggled to figure out what to do with it, given that there's a literal concentration camp going up next door to my parents' house. For at least a little while, I'll use Privacy Tips to discuss peaceful, non-violent ways to organize, protest, and defeat the fascists and weirdos. I still want to cover the OSINT material I mentioned; it's just slightly less of a priority given the current situation. (OSINT stands for Open Source Intelligence.)

It's not often that you write a book called How to Protect Yourself From Fascists & Weirdos and find that the fascists literally set up shop next door. That wasn’t part of my plan when we pitched this project to DuckDuckGo.

Another issue I keep encountering is that explaining to people how and why they should use Signal is not as easy as you might think. My worry is that I might start discussing topics—like OSINT—that quickly go over most people's heads. So, I'm going to keep it simple for a while. Simple doesn't mean dumbed down; it just means that, if you are very busy, I'll make sure you understand how and why to use something like Signal and help you get set up before moving on to the next topic, which will probably be transitioning to Element instead of Slack when your Signal group gets too large.

(This, too, is another problem. Many activists are cramming everyone into one Signal channel. Signal is great for small groups but gets clogged up quickly if the group exceeds nine or ten people. I’m currently in one of those groups.)

Oh, one more thing. You receive an email every Tuesday or Thursday from us. Sometimes that Thursday email is sent out on Friday, and sometimes I skip the Tuesday release. We’ll reach a point of consistency soon. I just need to get ahead of you, which is challenging while navigating a dynamic situation here in America.

Starting soon, there will also be additional content on this website that won’t be released via email. I’m considering producing more long-form journalism. I may still tackle OSINT topics but approach them separately from Privacy Tips. Either way, I don’t want to clutter your inbox. It wouldn't hurt to check the main website occasionally for more content.

If you're a paying subscriber on the $2-a-month / $24-a-year plan, you can expect your bonus content soon. We just need to finish designing the .pdf before I can email it to you. This is a special thank-you gift for subscribers on that plan. You do NOT need to be a paying subscriber to access our content (except for this .pdf). Everything else is free. This bonus content is simply for those who appreciate what we’re doing and wish to help keep the lights on.

I think I covered everything I needed to. Stay safe out there. Things are never as dark as they appear, and hope eventually defeats fascism. Maybe not as quickly as we’d like, but it’s the only thing that consistently triumphs.

-BJ

You can follow me on BlueSky here.

This Week's Show Notes

Stupid Sexy Privacy Show Notes For Season 1, Episode 22

Episode Title: The Men Are Vulnerable & The Women Are Afraid: How to Protect Yourself on Dating Apps

Guests: Dr. Treena Orchard, author of Sticky, Sexy, Sad

Episode Summary: This week, sexual wellness expert and Associate Professor at Western University’s School of Health Studies, Dr. Treena Orchard, joins BJ Mendelson to talk about the toxicity emanating from dating apps and the culture around the use of them. We also have for you an older conversation, still highly relevant, between co-hosts Amanda King and Rosie Tran about how to protect yourself while using these apps. Part 1 of 2!

Highlights From Part 1 of Our Interview with Dr. Treena Orchard

-People who use dating apps, which is a lot of us still, find themselves caught up in a vortex of trying to perform both for the app's algorithm, but also perform in a way they think other people want them to perform, leading often to miscommunication. (Or in the case of a lot of dudes, inappropriately communicating because they may not know there's a better, and more appropriate way to do so.)

-The reality is, we (as people) don't often know what we're doing on these apps. And we don't mean how to use them. We figured that part out. But what we haven't figured out, seemingly on a planetary level, is how to communicate what it is we need and want from one another when it comes to dating and romance, which allows predatory actors and some of these app companies to financially capitalize on our lack of knowledge, all while leaving us unprepared to do what it is we want to do with these apps successfully. So you wind up just playing a volume game, for example, instead of getting the results you originally intended.

-We also talk about the sometimes adversarial relationships that can form through these dating apps that could lead men, in particularly, down bad paths and toward toxic manosphere douchebags.

Highlights From This Week's Privacy Tip

-Like we've said elsewhere, maintaining your privacy isn't an all or nothing endeavor. You can do a little bit at a time to protect yourself like setting up a Google Alert for your name and any other name you may often use to identify yourself online.

-Don't be ashamed to talk about Black Mail and other forms of online harassment. This is a real problem right now where people are victimized by scammers, fascists, and weirdos, but are afraid to speak up out of fear of feeling dumb. You're not dumb. People get fooled all the time no matter how smart they think they are. We can think of seventy-seven million people or so who recently made a HUGE MISTAKE. It happens. What matters is that you talk to people about that mistake and make adjustments.

-Make sure to remove your EXIF data from all photos you post online, no matter the reason, and if you connect with someone you like online, that you have more than one video session with them first to make sure they are who they say they are.

Resources (NO Affiliate Links. This is what we use.)

Our Sponsor: DuckDuckGo <--Our Recommended Browser and VPN

Get Your Privacy Notebook: Get your Leuchtturm1917 notebook here.

-BitWarden.com (Our recommended Password Manager)

-Slnt Privacy Stickers for Phones and Laptops

-Slnt Faraday bag for your Stranger Danger phone.

-Mic-Lock Microphone Blockers

-Mic-Lock Camera Finder Pro

-BitDefender (best anti-virus for most people across most devices)

-Stop using SMS and WhatsApp, start using Signal.

-Use Element instead of Slack for group coordination

-Use StopGenAI's Guide to getting Generative AI out of your life.

--Use cash whenever possible. If you have to buy something online, try to use Privacy.com to shield your actual credit or debit card when making purchases online.

Get In Touch: You can contact us here

Want the full transcript for this week's episode?

Easy. All you gotta do is sign-up for our free newsletter. If you do, you'll also get a .mp3 and .pdf of our new book, "How to Protect Yourself From Fascists & Weirdos" as soon as it's ready.

DuckDuckGo Commercial #3 (Game Show)

Announcer: Welcome back to the DuckDuckGo Privacy Challenge, where contestants get a chance to learn why millions use DuckDuckGo's free browser to search and browse online. Now for our first contestant, Julie. True or false? Google's Chrome protects your personal information from being tracked.

Julie: Hmm, I'm going to say ... true.

Announcer: Incorrect, Julie. If you use Google Search or their Chrome browser, your personal information has probably been exposed. Not just your searches, but things like your email, location, and even financial or medical information.

Julie: Wow, I had no idea.

Announcer: Second question. What browser can you switch to for better privacy protection?

Julie: Is it DuckDuckGo?

Announcer: That's correct. The DuckDuckGo browser keeps your personal information protected. Say goodbye to hackers, scammers, and the data-hungry companies. Download from DuckDuckGo.com or wherever you get your apps.

Stupid Sexy Privacy Intro

Rosie: Welcome to another edition of Stupid Sexy Privacy. 

Andrew: A podcast miniseries sponsored by our friends at DuckDuckGo. 

Rosie: I’m your host, Rosie Tran. 

You may have seen me on Rosie Tran Presents, which is now available on Amazon Prime.

Andrew: And I’m your co-producer, Andrew VanVoorhis. With us, as always, is Bonzo the Snow Monkey.

Bonzo: Monkey sound!

Rosie: I’m pretty sure that’s not what a Japanese Macaque sounds like.

Andrew: Oh it’s not. Not even close.

Rosie: Let’s hope there aren’t any zooologists listening.

Bonzo: Monkey Sound!

Rosie: Ok. I’m ALSO pretty sure that’s not what a Snow Monkey sounds like.

*Clear hers throat*

Rosie: Over the course of this miniseries, we’re going to offer you short, actionable tips to protect your data, your privacy, and yourself from fascists and weirdos.

These tips were sourced by our fearless leader — he really hates when we call him that — BJ Mendelson. 

Episodes 1 through 33 were written a couple of years ago. 

But since a lot of that advice is still relevant, we thought it would be worth sharing again for those who missed it.

Andrew: And if you have heard these episodes before, you should know we’ve gone back and updated a bunch of them.

Even adding some brand new interviews and privacy tips along the way.

Rosie: That’s right. So before we get into today’s episode, make sure you visit StupidSexyPrivacy.com and subscribe to our newsletter.

Andrew: This way you can get updates on the show, and be the first to know when new episodes are released in 2026.

Rosie: And if you sign-up for the newsletter, you’ll also get a free pdf and mp3 copy of BJ and Amanda King’s new book, “How to Protect Yourself From Fascists & Weirdos.” All you have to do is visit StupidSexyPrivacy.com

Andrew: StupidSexyPrivacy.com

Rosie: That’s what I just said. StupidSexyPrivacy.com

Andrew: I know, but repetition is the key to success. You know what else is?

Rosie: What?

Bonzo: Another, different, monkey sound!

Rosie: I’m really glad this show isn’t on YouTube, because they’d pull it down like, immediately.

Andrew: I know. Google sucks.

Rosie: And on that note, let’s get to today’s privacy tip!

This Week's Privacy Tip

Rosie Tran, Host of Stupid Sexy Privacy: This week, Andrew and I put BJ in the penalty box. BJ exceeded the limit we set on jokes about his interest in Wonder Woman themed pornography, so BJ's co-author Amanda King is going to join us for something a little different with today's show.

According to Pew, three in 10 Americans have reported using online dating apps and websites, with most saying they've had good experiences using them. But for many women, these sites and apps can often lead to harassment, stalking, and unsolicited dick pics. So, so many dick pics. And like 99 % of them are unsolicited. Anyway, for this episode, Amanda and I are going to discuss how to keep yourself safe when using dating apps and websites. If you're gearing up for Valentine's Day, you're not gonna wanna miss this one.

Amanda is currently working with BJ on his book, How to Protect Yourself from Fascists and Weirdos. So she's more than qualified to speak with us today about these privacy and security tips.

Let's get to the discussion and BJ will be back writing episodes for you to enjoy next week.

Just a heads up that this conversation between Amanda and I was recorded back in 2023. Most of the information is still incredibly useful for people who want to protect themselves from fascists and weirdos while out on a date. So we're sharing it here with you again. Later, we'll be back with another episode to update the advice that was dated from this episode. Enjoy!

Rosie: Always speak in future tense when using these apps. Don't talk about stuff you've done that makes you identifiable. For example, say, "I want to go to Chena Hot Springs someday in Alaska," not, "I had a baller vacation in February at Chena Hot Springs." Chenahotsprings.com, amazing.

Amanda King, co-host of Stupid Sexy Privacy: And to avoid getting blackmailed, don't send anything your mom wouldn't want you to. After a few dates with a person, you can send them whatever you want using Signal and the disappearing messages function that Signal offers. Blackmail is a legit problem.

So just listen to blackmail expert Frank Ahern's interview on last week's episode.

Don't be ashamed to talk about harassment and blackmail attempts. You're not alone. This shit happens all the time and make sure you report it and demand the police take it seriously.

Rosie: Yeah, there was a whole website on it, Amanda. I don't know if you there was a website with like revenge porn where guys were blackmailing. Yeah, that was a big thing. I think it went to the federal court and the guy got arrested. Yeah, and it was on REDDIT it for a while as well with all the celebrities too. It's no fun,

Rosie: It is not fun at all. There are so many privacy things that are important for women to take into account.

Amanda: Absolutely.

Rosie: I would say take the time to read the Terms of Service so you can quickly report bad actors. Unfortunately, you often have to do the legwork of the content moderators and mention the specific section of the Terms of Service that's being violated. If you do this, they'll respond much, much faster to any problems that you're having.

Amanda: Absolutely. And it's the other side of it as well is you can limit the personal information you give out on your profile. You want to use a nickname. You don't want to list your workplace and your school. You want to keep it light. And while we're at it, you don't want to connect Instagram or Spotify or any other social accounts to these apps. You want to keep everyone you're interacting with on the dating app boxed in in a walled garden, so they can't bother you elsewhere.

Rosie: Yeah, I never put my last name. I just put like an R or T or like rosy tea or whatever, but I'm married now so I don't have to do that. But in the past, I never did that. I actually started out back in the day with AOL chat and I had like a pseudonym and I didn't have my real name. My pseudonym was Daisy.

Amanda: Yeah, exactly. I go by Liz sometimes. Sometimes I take my middle name. So that's always a good shout as well.

Rosie: Although have you ever seen someone on a dating app that you know in real life? That's awkward.

Amanda: Luckily no. Luckily no. And plus the only time I was really on a dating app was when I first moved to Sydney. So I didn't really know anyone anyway. So that was a bit of a benefit too.

Rosie: Well, that's safe. I can say it's very awkward. I actually saw someone on a dating app that I know. And then I also saw someone on a dating app that I had dated on the dating app. He popped up as like a recommended person. And I was like, I already dated this guy.

Amanda: Oh dear. It's no fun.

Rosie: Yeah. A quick tip is to always have your VPN on when using a dating site. This is a good way to hide your location if you want or need to from potential matches. Also, when you connect with someone you like, make sure to video chat with them more than once. A common scam tactic is to connect through video chat, but the scammer will show you a loop to video and more often than not, they'll tell you they're not able to talk when you're video chatting. So make sure you can see and hear each other. And that's really, really scary because I know there's been scams like there's like the Tindler Swindler and like other people, who are fake; and I actually had a coworker Amanda, this poor sweet guy ex-coworker, he was like in his 70s and he was tricked on a dating app by this woman and she kept having him send money to her like in the Philippines. And it was so sad ,because he was just like a sweet old man looking for love.

Amanda: Oh that is that is a bit sad as well I mean it's kind of the the other side of it is some people that's that's a great thing they want to have their money taken away from them if they pay for it. Fine if it's consensual, right? That's great. But when it's not, that's no fun.

Rosie: yeah, so sad.

Amanda: And those and deep fakes as well. It makes it so much easier to catfish and it's just not not good, which is why when you are on a dating app, you want to use all new photos, right? So nothing that you've posted elsewhere and nothing else that can go through a tineye or a reverse image search, because then that way it is both easy for someone to spoof you and real easy for someone else to start finding you across all of your other profiles. So you want to use those new photos, right? And make sure you remove all of the exif data on them before you upload. This is just all that extra information that phones and cameras add to the photos, like your location, that makes it easier to find you. And we'll actually include a link in today's show notes that will let you remove all of that exif data as well as a way to reverse image search photos, which can be helpful in making sure the person you're chatting to is who they say they are and you aren't being catfished or they're not using deep fakes.

[Reader's note: We often use Jimpl's free tool to remove EXIF data. TinEye remains the most recommended site for reverse image searches.]

Roise: Yeah, I actually do a Google search of myself once a year and remove privacy data because there's so much public information about you that's posted online. I don't mind all of my comedy stuff and all of the stuff I want online, online, but like privacy and personal stuff is really scary. So it's actually good to do like a Google search of yourself too and see what's out there. Cause you would be surprised what gets picked up. It's really scary.

Amanda: Yeah. No, as someone who's worked in digital marketing for a really long time, like I'm aware of this. I know kind of all of the stuff that's out there and I should be better about doing those kinds of sweeps because I know, right? And it's sometimes it's just a matter of how much you care and right. That's why part of the reason why we're doing this is to just remind people that there are so many options. It's not all or nothing and it's not black and white.

Book Ad

Amanda King: Hey everyone, this is Amanda King, one of the co-hosts of Stupid Sexy Privacy.

These days, I spend most of my time talking to businesses and clients about search engine optimization.  

But  that's not what this is about. 

I wanted to tell you a little bit about a book I've co-authored with BJ Mendelson called How to Protect Yourself from Fascists and Weirdos.  And the title tells you pretty much everything you would want to know about what's in the book.  

And thanks to our friends at DuckDuckGo,  we'll actually be able to give you this book for free  in 2026.

All you need to do  is go to the website stupidsexyprivacy.com  and sign up to our newsletter.  

Again, that website is stupidsexyprivacy.com and then put your name in the box and sign up for our newsletter.  We'll let you know when the  book  and the  audiobook is ready.

If you want a PDF  copy that's DRM free,  it's yours. And if you want  an MP3 of the new audiobook, also DRM free, you could get that too. 

Now, I gotta get outta here before Bonzo corners me because he doesn't think that SEO is real and I don't have the patience to argue with him. I got a book to finish.

Interview with Dr. Treena Orchard, Part 1

BJ Mendelson: Dr. Orchard is currently an associate professor and faculty scholar at Western University's School of Health Studies. And she is also the author of the book, Sticky, Sexy, Sad. You know, lately, I've been overwhelmed by some of the books we've been reading as part of the research for Stupid Sexy Privacy. I have to tell you, Dr. Orchard's book is beautifully written and sort of reminded me of the work of C.S. Lewis, where there are multiple paragraphs that could have easily been books of their own. They're so densely packed, but it's presented in such a way that it's highly readable and enjoyable. So...

I really enjoyed reading Sticky Sexy Sad, I hope you'll pick up a copy. And we're going to go to part one of our interview here with Dr. Orchard. Now let's get to it.

Dr. Orchard, thank you so much for joining us on the show. I was hoping we could start by talking about "meh." One of the points of Stupid Sexy Privacy is the highlight how these apps and platforms shape our behavior. Can you tells about how the dating apps have created a sea of sameness in terms of how we date, how we communicate, and how we love.

Dr. Orchard: Chapter Four, called Copy and Paste, it seems to get relatively little love. And I'm not sure why. But I think maybe it's because a lot of us have just sort of normalized the dreariness, you know, the sort of challenges associated with dating apps that we haven't unpacked. Like, why and how does this work? And why are all of our stories so similar? Part of it has to do with the fact that we're all using the same platforms, which directly shapes the outcomes and our experiences. And also the design of the platforms leaves very little room for variation.

You know, they're very, very standard ways of moving through it. It's left, it's right. Sometimes it's up if you want to, you know, give someone extra points. Sometimes you do that by accident, which I've done more than once.

But in terms of user engagement, it's fairly static. And then we look at the way that people, at least in my experience, were communicating with me. And it just seems to be that they've all watched the same porn, or they've all rehearsed the same kinds of fantasies that they want to do, or perhaps they have lived out in real life. And the role of gaming culture also plays into it too because dating apps are designed like little slot machines, and gamified life is very very common; and we do it, we swipe we do it in so many different aspects of life, and I think that it can kind of make us treat one another as though we are avatars which is a representation of a person as opposed to a person.

So those are some ways that the apps themselves and how we use them can kind of lead to experiences that are, as I say, in chapter four, sort of copy and paste.

BJ: Right. I'd love to hear a bit more about that in terms of how often would you say that was your experience in experiencing the copy and paste? Or are people treating you as if you were a pixel and not a person?

Dr. Orchard: That's a good question because, you know, it was intermittent.

And I think sometimes I wasn't fully aware of it because I had normalized it. And it's like, this is part of the game, girl. You just got to, you you're in it to win it or what, you know, when you kind of, got to leave so you can't be upset at everything that is upsetting or else you just, you die. But it was quite frequent. And there was a number of moments in my swiping career where I would feel confident enough to be like, you know, I don't really like the way you're talking to me. Like, do you mean this? Half of the time it was like, "can't take a joke?" or you know, "lame feminist." But then the other half, and I was pleasantly surprised by this, the men would be like, "you know what, you're right, my bad. I just get into this pattern and I never know if anyone's gonna stick around so I don't put too much of myself in how I communicate. I assume that this is what you want or this is how you're gonna behave." So they're caught in the vortex too.

BJ: Right, yeah, and that's something that I've heard a lot is that I don't know if these people are real. I don't know if they're bots and so I don't take it seriously. yes.

Dr. Orchard: And I heard that a lot when I first started writing about dating apps and my experiences and my challenges. So many people, "what? It's just a game. Don't take it so seriously. If you take it so seriously, you've completely missed the point." And it's like, I am determined. Find someone. I live in a shit town. The stakes are big, dude. It matters to me.

BJ: And that's true for millions of people. I think it's easy to forget. Not everyone lives in New York, not everyone lives in Los Angeles, not everyone lives in Toronto. A lot of us live in shit towns. So the stakes are very high.

Dr. Orchard: Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, there are times when you are playing and I'll say you use that word, where you kind of let things roll, you know, the odd time, you know, I ghosted people, you know, I'd be a little saucy on there just to, you know, just to ... Because you always feel like you have to move through the volume, clean up the host, clean up the host, re-prioritize, reorder the structure, which ones are they going to talk to? So it's just this constant movement and it requires you to not invest much. So that's by design, not just some like endemic problem with human beings.

BJ: Now, I want to know a little bit about relying on profit-driven companies to educate us in the ways of data and communication and intimacy isn't working out super well for a lot of us. It's a quote that I went back and I highlighted it twice. In full disclosure, like for people who haven't read the book yet, and we're going to have links to it, it is so wonderfully dense. And I mean that in the best certain terms possible because you stop and you really think about each little nugget in there and try and unpack it.

So this is an example of something where it's like, okay, I would love to know if you can expand on that. And in particular, I think you called it our withered vocabulary, concerning sexuality, gender, and power. And I would just love to hear a bit more about that.

Dr. Orchard: Yeah, I think, you know, with the call dating apps, you imagine that, well, they might be a service to teach us about dating, but that's not it at all, right? The dating is part of the hook. And because it's feeding into the fact that we are kind of obsessed with love and romance. Romance novels and that genre is always going to be supreme for a number of reasons, right? Because we love love, because we don't know how to do it, because we long for it, because we're interested in how other people do it. And because it's so fundamental to life itself. And I think that relying on something like a dating app to teach us about dating ... In some ways, what it does is it allows these companies to assume an even greater role in our lives. Right here is a product to help you date and then we're gonna have all these resources on our website, but they're very, very basic resources and they are pretty resources. They're sort of Instagram feeling. They're not really all that substantive and they might feel a bit theoretical or abstract compared to what people are going through on these apps. It's not simple and seamless and carefree and fun, nor is it free.

And if you use the free app, well, God love you. Because I mean, you can't see anybody, you're so restricted. And so it feels like, wait a minute, do these come, like you feel a bit betrayed, right? When using love as the hook, it gets into a particular part in us where we're gonna go deep because we care about it. And we might not quite recognize the role of these apps in cultivating our dependence as opposed to an inclusive trauma-informed kind of education that we know works with pretty much everybody. So it does not provide us that. And most of us live in cities and towns and families even where that kind of education is hard to come by. And so we turn to each other, we turn to porn, we turn to, I mean, there's wonderful books and experts and blogs and podcasts out there as well and people do definitely use those. But we are missing that kind of instruction and the implications of it we see and how destroyed people are when they're dating, how lonely people are and the lengths to which they will go to alleviate their loneliness. So we're not doing a good job, but that doesn't mean I am still hopeful because books like mine and many, many others ... You know, it provides us reminders that there are so many opportunities for growth and to do things different.

BJ: Yeah. And I, you know, one of the things I took away from the book was that men in particular seem to be really lacking a lot of critical knowledge. And I'm just curious a little bit about your experience in putting the book together in putting together your research about ... Maybe not why that is, but just what the outcome of that is. What's the experience for other people on something like Bumble? Bumble tells you it's a feminist design, but as you're saying, that's not really how it works once you're actually using it.

Dr. Orchard: Yeah. I think Bumble's a great example because it was designed and marketed as super unique in this crowded industry as a feminist app. The world's first feminist app, Whitney Wolfe Herd said many, many years ago. I think a statement she might regret that she may have said. It was feminist because women go first in the hetero-version. Men have to wait. Women are going to take in the driver's seat and take control. But I think what she didn't consider or didn't consider enough was like how men are going to feel. Yes, we should be at a place where gender equity is a non-not like it's nothing new. It's common. In that situation, this kind of app wouldn't be so revolutionary. But it also wouldn't create the kind of conflict that it did.

And I was using it in 2017, which as we know is the beginning of the Me Too movement. Many men didn't know that it was feminist. I will say that, because a lot of them are just, I'm on all the apps to maximize their experience, because they get so few likes and communications compared to a lot of women. So it is harder for them on the apps, that is true. But I found the amount of specific vitriol against women was so profound on that app and I use Tinder for much longer and most people think of Tinder as kind of like bottom feeder or hookups only. That's where I found my two or three significant relationships was on Tinder. Certainly not on Bumble. And so yeah, so I think that that's...

*Eliot, Dr. Orchard's cat, makes a cameo.)

BJ: Oh hello.

Dr. Orchard: Sorry, Elliot interrupted my flow. But was there another part of the question that I should delve into a little bit more?

BJ: Well, I think it speaks to this sort of larger issue of men either getting bad advice from the toxic, disgusting manosphere and not being able to understand boundaries and what no means.

Dr. Orchard: And also not being able to express themselves freely. They're vulnerable and they should be able to express their vulnerability without being afraid of being labeled not masculine or even worse. And many of the men who I would ask about their experiences are like, yeah, it's rough out here. You know, not only do we not get many likes and all of that, but the standards that seem to be conveyed as normative, that most women say that they want, are impossible for most men to reach. The height issue, at least six foot. "Don't talk to me unless you're six feet." Like how ridiculous is that? You know, "if you don't make six figures, don't bother." It's like, do you make six figures? So what you want to live off your man? Like what kind of feminist are you? You know, and just, you know, if you're not jacked to the nines, you know, then don't even bother when like the women aren't always looking super fit and tight, you know? So it's just, they felt like there was a lot of double standards that don't really get given much credence or care. They're just like, "deal with it, deal with it, buddy. Like, you know, deal with it." And that is not a kind or constructive way to speak to men and to reflect on what they're going through in a way that could somehow make a difference or an impact. And I think, that can sort of spiral into different kinds of incel behaviors or violence or being more prone to, as you say, these misogynistic influencers or like, yeah, "women, the system is rigged for them. Like we are the losers here. There's only certain ways that we can get back at them." Being adversaries of one another is not the long game solution.

DDG Live Read #5

Rosie: Today we’re going to share six quick tips to better protect yourself from identity theft.

First: Whenever possible, use cash. 

Second: When you do have to purchase something online, the safest way to do so is to use a service like Privacy.com. These services can disguise your actual credit or debit card when you need to use them.

Third: Identity theft can sometimes happen without you doing anything on the Internet. Like for example, if you get those pre-qualified offers in the mail for credit cards. You can cut down on those offers by visiting OptOutPreScreen.com. 

Fourth: Every American should get a credit freeze. This doesn’t impact your credit score or accounts that are currently open. What it will do is keep new accounts from being opened in your name. And if you need to make a large purchase in the future, you can always have the freeze removed. 

Fifth: After you get the credit freeze, visit AnnualCreditReport.com and request your free annual credit report. This is a good opportunity to confirm the credit freeze is in place, and to check your credit report to make sure there are no other errors.

Sixth: Last but not least, we want to highlight another benefit of the DuckDuckGo Subscription Plan. 

Included alongside the VPN is a data removal service and identity theft protection, called Personal Information Removal.

These services are great because — unlike a lot of data removal services out there —  you don’t have to worry about handing your information over to a third party. Like your driver’s license. 

Any information you provide, as well as the data removal requests themselves, are stored and processed locally on your device. 

The only personal information DuckDuckGo may receive are confirmation emails from data broker sites — which they automatically handle for you — and then delete within 72 hours. 

And if you have your identity stolen while subscribed to DuckDuckGo, through their partnership with Iris, they can provide you with an advisor that offers 24/7 assistance.

In the absence of federal data privacy laws, we feel services like DuckDuckGo’s are important to utilize to better protect people from identity theft.

You can sign up for the subscription via the Settings menu in the DuckDuckGo browser, available on iOS, Android, Mac, and Windows.

Or via the DuckDuckGo subscription website: duckduckgo.com/subscriptions. 

This service is currently only available in the United States and on desktop.

Stupid Sexy Privacy Show Outro

Rosie: This episode of Stupid Sexy Privacy was recorded in Hollywood, California.

It was written by BJ Mendelson, produced by Andrew VanVoorhis, and hosted by me, Rosie Tran.

And of course, our program is sponsored by our friends at DuckDuckGo.

If you enjoy the show, I hope you’ll take a moment to leave us a review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you may be listening.

This won’t take more than two minutes of your time, and leaving us a review will help other people find us.

We have a crazy goal of helping five percent of Americans get 1% better at protecting themselves from Fascists and Weirdos.

Your reviews can help us reach that goal, since leaving one makes our show easier to find.

So, please take a moment to leave us a review, and I’ll see you right back here next Thursday at midnight. 

After you watch Rosie Tran Presents on Amazon Prime, right?